Gratitude & Goodwill

***DEBBIE DOWNER DISCLAIMER***

In this moment, I feel sadness, despair and frustration. I’ve been stuck in a mental vortex of mistakes, things I should or shouldn’t have said and choices I should or shouldn’t have made that resulted in consequences that have negatively affected loved (and, at times, not-so-loved) ones.

The outward appearance of life is charmed; I have the fortune of doing business in Hawaii this week, expressing my passion with others during the day and falling asleep to the rustle of swaying palm trees in the evening. I have a damn wonderful, compassionate & supportive husband, 3 happy cats and a warm home waiting for me. I do not feel deserving of any of this.

I have hurt & disappointed others, and my heart weighs down through my feet for that. The hopelessness is overwhelming, but I hope believe that the little control I do have in this moment:

A. Forgiveness of the past

B. Conscious gratitude

and

C. The intention of goodwill, for everything

…In every moment, will come back to me down the road in whatever form and repair these haunting trails of damage.

I believe it.

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One thought on “Gratitude & Goodwill

  1. AP says:

    you are deserving of all of this and more, sweet friend. growing into our best selves is a process, and often a messy one… we are all works in progress and i hope you give yourself (and your old self) some empathy and love for being so perfectly imperfect.

    now go forth and sparkle on! you are a treasure. xo

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